On retreat

Tomorrow is Sept 1st of course, the month that in England at least marks the beginning of a new academic year.

And it is with the new academic year in mind that I am taking myself off to Launde Abbey for a few days of quiet reflection. For this year, September marks the beginning of my final year of ministerial training (it also marks much else, but more on that later in the week).

As yet I don't know how I will spend the next few days, apart from enjoying Launde's hospitality and participating in the daily fourfold cycle of worship.

What I do appreciate is the generosity of others that enable me to take time out (in particular Liz who is staying at home this time); the fact that I am sufficiently comfortable financially to pay for an individual retreat; and the commitment of so many people at Launde who will make the next few days really valuable.

Recognising our blessings and accepting them with all the grace with which they are freely offered is one way in which we can value ourselves and others. The next few days will be of little value to me if I fill them with guilt about what I'm not doing or who is not with me. The magnitude of that statement is clear given that our son Kieran leaves for a year in Uganda this coming Friday night.

So I leave for Launde in the morning, hugely supported by folks at home. The depth of that support can be seen in the family's recognition that part of my journey towards ordination must be travelled by me alone. It is my journey, and implicit in that is a sense of separation.

Yet none of us is truly ever alone, as we can never be separated from the love of God. And divine love is at its very best when revealed and shared within the human family.

Getting life into perspective

Let me tell you about two experiences today - quite different but both revealing.

The first relates to the Internet. Now we've had wireless internet in our house for probably around five years. About 8 months ago the internal wireless functionality on my laptop gave up which meant I was restricted to using my computer in one room in the house.

A couple of days ago I decided I couldn't stand this 'restriction on my freedom' any longer and so purchased a wireless card for the laptop and I am now back fully wireless and independent.

The point in telling you all this is that I have been startled by my reaction to my latest acquisiton - I have felt truly liberated all day. I can now sit in the attic (where I do theological things) and still be online - which is great for copying bible passages and extracts from Common Worship of course. Not to mention writing this.

Am I sad or is this scary? Clearly it suggests that for all my stated desire to live simply (zero achievement in this area for the past 20 years) I simply can't do it.

The second experience today was totally unexpected and impossible to predict. As I drove to our local co-op this evening a car pulled up opposite in the road and the young female driver burst into uncontrollable sobbing. Bereavement? Boyfriend bust up? I've no idea, because I didn't stop to ask.

How sad and scary is that?

So here we have two demonstrations in a single day of the current cultural crises in this country. Our obsession with consumerism and information accessibility contrasted with our inability to deal with the stuff that is really important. Individualism has truly won out over community.

Or has it?

Not quite perhaps. After all, I wouldn't be articulating all this without an awareness of and sensitivity to the issues involved.

And that illustrates that hope still exists and penitence still has meaning.

So let' see what stories tomorrow brings.

Packing for Uni

Change is the big theme of our house right now. Not only is it just seven days before Kieran begins his 12-month trip to Uganda, but Becky is now busy preparing for Uni (Nottingham). Our spare bedroom is filling up with boxes and Bex has been busy online ordering a drawing board, portfolio and more pencils and pens than it seems possible to use in three years.

So Liz and I are rushing headlong towards that status of 'empty nesters' at the relatively young age of our mid-40s.

It's ironic that for almost twenty years we've been working towards the day that Becky and Kieran can achieve some level of independence - but that now that day is rapidly approaching, the prospect of it is more difficult to come to terms with (particularly compared with say in the middle of night when trying to console a teething three year old to sleep).

The skill of parenting (and it certainly is a skill) is something that we assume exists inately within everyone. Yet when things go wrong society is quick to condemn the inadequate, less than successful parent and reluctant to provide the kind of support, encouragement and learning opportunities that all parents could benefit from.

I am convinced that parenting is an area of massive potential for the church. Given our established role in baptisms, weddings and funerals, extending an interest into the area of parenting seems a natural next step. And surely our wealth of church related schools provides an immediate community of parents to tap into?

For me the Christian model of parenting is something about unconditional love. That's not the same as uncritical love of course, or laissez faire, everything is acceptable kind of love.

Unconditional love is about loving without judging, loving when love might seem far from deserving and loving with a longer timescale in mind - a more divine timescale perhaps - than any child or young adult can grasp. It's the kind of love that seeps through generations and continues to be felt despite the apparently unbridgeable divide of life and death itself.

It's the kind of love that equips youngsters to go off and discover things for themselves and encourages them to then share that same understanding of love with others. Yet it remains the kind of love that is still there at the end of the phone to be called upon whenever. It's the kind of love that rejoices in saying 'yes' and imparts enough wisdom for youngsters to discover how to say 'no' for themselves.

That kind of love is the kind that I was blessed with and continue to experience from my own family. And hopefully it is the kind of love that Becky and Kieran have embraced without, as yet, fully understanding its depths.

It is a deeply Christ-like love, at times sacrificial but more often simply selfless in its desire to want the very best for another.

The church needs to recognise with urgency just how central parenting is to the mission of God. As the context in which love is so frequently expressed and explored, parenting is also the context in which the nature of God is most frequently revealed and experienced.

In ignoring the importance of parenting, are we not making the missionary task of the church infinitely more difficult?

How much are you prepared to pay for an Olympic Gold Medal?

According to the BBC News this evening the British Olympic cycling team received £11.6m in public funding for their Olympic campaign.

Now Britain gained 14 cycling medals at the Olympics which works out at £828,571.43 each.

Do you think that is a good return on investment?

I'm not sure compared with how else the money might have been spent.

I don't want to knock cycling in particular - after all I have both road and mountain bikes. I'm not exactly anti-bike.

But what about all the deserving community groups - many church backed I imagine - who've lost out to the Olympics in the great scramble for lottery funding?

Or who are set to lose out as the country tries to better its performance in 2012? [Something which is neigh impossible given that Russia, USA and China were the only countries to beat the UK in the medals table. Unless of course we are about to invest tens of millions of pounds in gymnastics, table tennis and weight lifting].

This isn't simply a liberal rant by someone whose sporting prowess stretches to being able to walk reasonably quickly.

It's more a comment on our priorities as a nation. Right now this country is devoted to superficial, short-term adrenalin powered success. The kind of success that matters if your only benchmark is tomorrow morning's headlines.

Yet those headlines are irrelevant if you cannot read - and that is one in five adults in the UK.

I wonder how many people could have learnt to read if half the money invested in cycling was invested in additional literacy programmes?

The spiritual health of a nation is not measured in medals nor newspaper headlines.

Look always for how a country looks after its weakest and least powerful. If they are cared for, then there remains a spiritual core to the nation. Which is why Britain is far more secular than many think. We may still be religious and love our churches and cathedrals - but do we really care for one another?

Post Greenbelt, post shower...

Arrived back from Greenbelt this morning. Huge success for Blossom the campervan. Slept almost perfectly for five of the seven nights. Celebrated Christmas last night in the beer tent - the Jesus Arms - by singing carols under the Christmas tree...it really is a wierd event.

Spent most of the weekend volunteering in the press office and taking care of some of the 95 journalists that visit Greenbelt. Very interesting to meet such a diverse group of other volunteers not to mention speakers and musicians.

But at the same time as a volunteer you experience Greenbelt in a different way to your ordinary punter. And I'm not sure I wouldn't prefer to buy a ticket next year and forgo the t-shirt, food vouchers and free entry.

Having spent a week at Cheltenham race course I'm also conscious of the big world news that one misses cacooned out of sight of a newspaper or TV screen.

Does that make prayer more or less useful? Or simply different? This debate is really old of course. It goes right back to the desert fathers. Is one more immersed in society by being separated from it?

If I don't know that the Madrid air crash has happened, I cannot pray for those involved. And yet by not knowing this and a ton of other important happenings, I am also freer to focus on the little I do know.

I can turn inwards more effectively, and thus become more available to others outwardly.

Which makes it more possible that the conversations I do have are less superficial, less dominated by events external to the current encounter. Which makes us all more open to the possibilities presented to us by one another.

Is this all a load of tosh? No I don't think so. I've had some conversations this weekend that have only been possibile because I've been available. And that's not just a question of being physically available. It's also about not being distracted by the world, so that I can focus on that part of the world that is present to me here and now.

I'm still not sure whether I should keep the TV. We're about to get of Sky - should we go the whole distance?

First outing for the campervan!

Tomorrow Becky and I head off to volunteer at Greenbelt. Which means it's the first long awaited outing for Blossom, our campervan. Liz has worked incredibly hard to get it ready. We tested the gas fridge yesterday - and it does work! All we need now is some half decent weather to ensure that the Cheltenham Race Course doesn't turn to mud before the weekend. I'm not hopeful.

We've been waiting for Greenbelt to come round for weeks, months even. Nor is it the only thing we're waiting for. We're waiting for my curacy to be sorted; for Kieran to go to Uganda, for Becky to get off to University, for Liz's reflexology course to start.

Waiting is deceptive. The anticipation of an event places the focus somewhere in the future rather than on today. That translates itself into misplaced energy. Instead of focusing on today's priorities, energy is spent on something over which there is invariably little control. All that we wait for, will happen.

The truth is that today is all there is - the past is memory (rarely accurate) and the future is imagination (often of the wild variety).

All we have is the present moment.

So how am I going to spend it?

Worrying about stuff I can't do anything about or engaging with stuff about which I can make a difference?

I will try the latter and go and make a cup of tea.

Sermon for the Thirteenth Sunday After Trinity

The economic news at the moment is grim. House repossessions up 48% on last year; inflation up to 4.4%; food and energy prices rocketing – eggs up 33% in a year; house values falling; more and more people finding it difficult to borrow money and those who do borrow, borrow too much. The average household debt in the UK – excluding mortgages – is £9300. But average household debt amongst those who actually have unsecured loans is over £21,500. These are grim statistics and they all affect us to one degree or another.

It doesn’t take much to turn a difficult financial situation into an impossible one. It only takes unemployment, an unexpected illness, or the need to care for a relative, to turn a precarious existence into one of near destitution.

It might seem like an enormous leap to link our economic woes with tonight’s Old Testament reading. And yet Elisha was living in times not at all unlike our own. To see this all we need to do is dig a little deeper beneath the storyline. When we do it is possible to see in the way Elisha responded, a way forward for us and the church to respond to the challenges of our time.

One of the beauties of scripture is that it is comprised largely of stories. But like any story or joke we might share with one another, much is left un-said. Just as Dave Walker’s wonderful cartoons in the Church Times don’t need explaining to anyone who is familiar with church life, so scripture assumes vast quantities of shared cultural and religious knowledge, and our understanding of scripture is diminished if we ignore it.

In our Old Testament reading, we heard the story of three of Elisha’s miracles. In the first Elisha solves the impending indenture of the widow’s sons by a quite long-winded miracle that requires her active engagement (and that of her family and neighbours) as more and more oil is miraculously poured into empty jars.

In the second story Elisha miraculously enables a woman to conceive a child, and then – several years later - raises her son from the dead when he dies prematurely.

The significance of these stories can be missed unless we dig deeper into the culture and practice of the time. These aren’t only tales about miraculous happenings.

As we join each story, both women face a precarious future.

The first story is a blunt tale of economic hardship and exploitation. The debts inherited by the woman on the death of her husband meant that her two sons could have been taken into slavery until the debt had been repaid. This in turn would leave the widow vulnerable and destitute without the protection of either husband or sons to earn their livelihood and care for her. On the face of it, this seems a reasonable way to ensure the debt is repaid without the woman losing land or her freedom. But in the 8th century BC, this method of recovering debt was being used systematically to rob farmers of their land. Economic exploitation was as rife then as it is now.

Elisha’s miracle questions the legitimacy of the law, ensures the woman has enough to pay off the debt, and prevents the problem from recurring by ensuring that there is enough left over for the family to survive. The widow’s faith in Elisha and God is rewarded, and God is incredibly generous in the security and peace that the widow receives.

The second story is also about the precariousness of a woman in a patriarchal economic system. In the story, the woman’s husband is clearly alive but elderly. Should he die without a son, she would be destitute. The only option would be her brother-in-law to marry her - but the story doesn’t mention that she has one.

Again Elisha’s action questions the cultural practice of the day that treated women as second class, and instead creates new possibilities for the woman by giving her a son. When he dies prematurely, Elisha responds to the woman’s amazing faith and perseverance, and breathes new life into her son.

[Now if you were in church this morning you might see parallels between this story and the story of Jesus responding to the faith of the Canaanite woman whose daughter was sick. In both stories it is a woman’s strength and determination that leads to healing.]

Interestingly, hospitality plays an important part in both stories. In the first, the widow’s husband was part of the prophet’s circle and so the widow would have been a key part of the wider prophetic family, supporting and enabling the work of the prophets. In the second, the promise of a son is a direct response to the woman’s incredibly generous hospitality in lavishly furnishing a room for the passing prophet.

In both stories Elisha shows how hospitality, accompanied by faith and trust in God, can lead to the miraculous and unexpected.

But they also show that God’s sense of justice and mercy is broad enough to question the social, cultural, economic and religious practices of the day. Ultimately God is interested in individuals, not law or tradition.

The apostle Paul faithfully follows in this Old Testament tradition of protecting the vulnerable; but not before, of course, being completely transformed by his experience of meeting the risen Christ.

Having been brought up to give thanks to God each day that he was not born a slave, a woman or a Gentile, Paul delights in bringing slaves, women and Gentiles to faith in Christ. Importantly the conversion of Lydia, which was in our reading tonight, also involves the offering and receipt of hospitality.

All of us here have received and given hospitality within the context of the Christian community. We know it personally as the means by which we have found fellowship, companionship, a sense of purpose, even love. For that we are immensely grateful, to one another, to the church and to God.

What we are sometimes less willing to acknowledge perhaps, is that hospitality is the means by which God begins to usher in his kingdom, as the stories of Elisha demonstrate.

Hospitality should always be drawing us onward and outward in a spirit of optimistic mission, grounded in faith and trust in God.

Moving from a commitment to hospitality, to a commitment to justice is quite a leap. Yet that is the challenge we face as the church.

The economic injustices of our generation demand that the church speaks up in defence of those who are most vulnerable with the passion and clarity of Elisha and all the prophets. There is no other way by which to reveal the grace of God to those who suffer.

As the economics of our country worsen, let us pray that our faith may be nurtured and strengthened by the witness of the prophets, so that our vision of God, and his Kingdom, is reflected more clearly in the daily witness of our own lives.

Lord, help us to be your prophets in this generation. Amen.

At last, the grass gets cut

I've no idea what the weather statisticians will declare about this summer but my memory of summer 08 will be one of rain.

But not today. I've managed to get outside and cut the grass and both the garden and I look and feel better for it.

I am one of those people who needs to spend time outside now and again. Having spent much of the past two decades in front of a machine, physical activity holds an appeal to me. Not in a macho sense - I'm hardly a good example of biceps and the like. No, it's something to do with being connected with my humanness in relation to my environment. Cutting the grass, digging the garden, even cleaning the car can help put me in touch with who I am. Scribbing away at a keyboard doesn't quite achieve that.

Compared with my grandparents we now live in an indoors culture. Just think how often you go out in all types of weather without a coat. A mac's not needed if you've only got to walk to the car.

This growing detatchedness from the physical world has a price attached to it. As we become separated from the world we also become separated from one another. Let's not pretend that email, MSN, facebook or blogging improve communication between people. It might increase the number of networks we connect with. But communication is different. For that you need to see, touch, hear and smell.

I've never done this, but it would be interesting to analyse the gospels according to whether the events they describe took place indoors or outdoors. I have a suspicion, the gospels came to life in the open air. Perhaps we do too.

A-level results day!

The anxiety is palpable around breakfast time as we await Kieran's results. We may be well used to waiting for exam results by now (this is the 4th year in a row we've been through this) but practice doesn't make this particular experience any easier.

I needn't have worried of course and Kieran got his 3 As. With an unconditional place at Aberystwyth (is that spelt correctly?) his results reflected the very real effort he put in for his own sense of achievement.

But not everyone is celebrating tonight. And the reason for that is simple - school doesn't work for everyone.

Why do we continue to assume that all youngsters can learn effectively sitting in rows in a classroom? Do we expect as adults all to work effectively in identical environments? Are we all bus drivers or politicians, software engineers or fashion designers?

Education is in a mess and it's not the fault of teachers - there are much more fundamental problems that reflect the appallingly condescending attitudes of decision-makers towards young people.

If we want an education system that works we need to recognise some truths:

1. Young people should be valued as educators in themselves, not as cogs in a machine or outcomes to be 'produced' - if we believe we are made in the image of God, then we should be paying attention to young people and listening hard; not assuming that with age comes wisdom.

2. Young people don't owe society anything; after all it is adults that have got the world into its current mess, not youngsters. So if young people are to be nurtured into an adulthood that more closely reflects the beauty of humanity, then adults need to re-discover the importance of humility, repentence even.

3. Finally, let's re-define what it means to succeed. It has nothing to do with results and even less to do with acquiring the latest consumer goods or earning lots of money. Rather it has everything to do with being able to contribute to society in meaningful ways that enhance the world in which we live.

Everyone knows this is true. After all, look at all the award schemes that recognise selfless acts of compassion or charitable commitment.

So if we know these things are ultimately very important, why don't we set the expectation in society that this is the normal way to behave, and not the exception?

Financial Makeover

All this gloomy financial news at the moment is making me more financially conscious than I've been for a while.

So I've taken the opportunity to review my list of standing orders and direct debits today. As a result I've cancelled several and discovered one howler - a payment that has been going out for the past 16 months when it shouldn't have. Came to almost £300. Steps have been taken and it will all be repaid, so no lasting damage.

It shows what happens though when you are sufficiently financially secure not to be worrying each month about what's in the bank. We've enjoyed that position for ten years or so and clearly it's an age that is coming to an end. I'm referring here to having to live off a clergy stipend from next year, rather than the general economic crises, although that too has brought the 'nice' decade to an end.

The other financial news though today was for Becky. The cost of a Uni education is much higher than I thought. We've already shelled out over £4k for her accommodation for the first year; her tuition fees are over £3k and then she has to eat and drink of course.

So I reckon it's going to cost £10k a year for each of them - £6k of which can be borrowed under the student loan scheme. Fortunately we've been saving for years for this in the hope that both Becky and Kieran would leave college (after first degrees anyway) without debts. I don't think we're going to have saved quite enough but should get within £2/3k of the total cost for each of them.

Which all goes to illustrate well what we all know. Only the rich can afford an education and debt is being structurally built into many young people's lives - even before they've had a chance to earn a living.

I don't believe that is the way to encourage young adults to acquire the skills they need so that they may enjoy life in all its abundance.

I don't believe it's indicative of a Christian approach to economics either. The common good must lie at the heart of that.

What it is doing is encouraging a fragmentation of society that will damage us all, not simply those with debts to repay. There are plenty of stories in the Old Testament about that.

The success of a society cannot be measured on a balance sheet.

Greenbelt approaches

It's all the talk in this house today. Greenbelt is just one week away.

Well it is for Becky and I as we're volunteering beforehand and heading down to Cheltenham next Tuesday. Liz, Kieran and Rose will join us on the Friday.

Greenbelt has become our annual spiritual top-up; a must do calendar item. And this year we're going to know loads more people than ever before having moved church mid-year.

We're also going to take 'Blossom' for the first time. Our 1986 newly acquired VW Camper. Blossom has been a little unwell recently and had to have her push rods replaced (whatever they are). Look out for her - she's covered in flowers and stickers of one kind or another. Original Autosleeper livery plus more recently acquired rust in a few places.

So we're all looking forward to it and will be a healthy distraction from Kieran's 12 month trip to Uganda starting next month, Becky's Uni life starting next month and our serious search for a curacy which has kind of started already....

What really matters?

Compared with the life and death issues dominating the news - chiefly Georgia of course - much of my life seems pedantic and peripheral.

I've spent most of today doing 'useful' work for which I am well paid - but is it necessary, leave alone essential? Has the sum of humanity been enhanced? Has it done anything to stretch me, fulfill me or satisfy me?

The only honest answer is 'no'. Yet this is a day that will never repeat. And whatever I have or haven't achieved today, I soon cannot improve on it, as yet another day will turn to greet me.

And that day may turn out to be largely the same.

Why do I put with this? Why do I sit at my desk resolutely refusing to recognise that I'd be far better off as a human being if I spent the afternoon weeding the garden not 'working'?

This evening I'll do probably the only useful thing I will have achieved today - and that is to drive over to Luton to collect my son from the airport, returning after a week in Germany. Unlike me he's spent the week examining conflict resolution. No doubt he has something to say to Georgia and Russia right now.

How do I move beyond my rat race existence?

Part of the answer must lie in a rejection of the system that has entrapped me - wealth accumulating consumerism (also known as poverty inducing exploitation).

Part of the answer must also lie in listening to the young who seem to have an instinctive grasp on reality (like I had once no doubt).

But part of the answer must also lie in the recognition that I am a fallible human being. I can't change that, but perhaps I can instead begin to recognise more forecfully the importance of embracing the spiritual 'other' in everyday life.

Such as valuing the conversation in the street that delays me momentarily from my rush to the shops but saves me for eternity (?) from ceasing to be human.

It is time I started to stop and stare. To be still and know.

Dave Ford

Just how human was Jesus?

This might sound a dumb question - of course Jesus was human.

Yet one of the most distinguishing charactoristics of humanity is that it has the ability to learn.

Now I doubt Jesus was born able to speak. If he was then the gospels would be full of his early life, not his later ministry. So Jesus did learn some things.

But did Jesus - say, from the point of his baptism - know all things? Some Christians argue that he must have, for a big thread of theology believes that Jesus (the Son of God) existed from the beginning of creation. The problem with this argument is that Jesus must have known much about which he kept quiet. Such as the fact the world is round not flat. I'm sure Jesus had great self-control, but if you knew things the world didn't, wouldn't you be tempted to tell all?

Then there is the scriptural evidence. Such as the meeting between Jesus and the Caananite woman in which he refuses initially to heal her daughter on the grounds that his mission was only to the Jews. The woman appears to persuade Jesus to come to a different view of his own ministry. Not only is Jesus prepared to learn, but he's prepared to learn from a foreign woman!

If we accept the idea that Jesus was fully human, then it is possible to begin to see his ministry as one in which his own understanding of self gradually revealed itself.

To me that is a much more accessible and approachable Divinity. Moreover, it begins to make possible what Athanasius - I think - said back in the early centuries of the church. 'That Jesus became man, so that man might become God'. This idea of the divinization of humanity is not as wacky as it might sound to our rational infested minds. If the purpose of humanity is to be re-united with our creator, then Jesus shows the extent to which this is possible in life. Following Jesus becomes the means by which we become one with God 'in Christ', in this life and not only in the life to come.

Above all, it avoids putting Jesus on a pedastal, high out of reach, to be adored at a distance but rarely to be emulated.

So if you think of our relationship with Jesus in linear terms, then think horizontal not vertical. Jesus is not up in the clouds but right beside us on our level. Immediately accessible to know and to follow.

If I believe that Jesus had to learn his ministry, it makes it much easier for me as I struggle to learn mine. It means I have someone to learn from and someone to learn with.

I'm not alone.

Dave Ford

Olympics or Ossetia - which is more important?

The answer might seem self-evident but not according to the BBC last night, whose 10pm news bulletin led with the opening of the Olympic Games, not the conflict between Russia and Georgia.

Since then the conflict has clearly become a war and a swift resolution seems unlikely.

According to the BBC, Russian President Dimitry Medvedev has said that he was seeking "to force the Georgian side to peace". Such talk is the talk of imperialists not peacemakers. It has echoes of Imperial Rome's desire for 'peace through victory' to which Jesus replied with his commitment for 'peace through justice'.

The best writing I've come across on these themes is God and Empire, by John Dominic Crossan. Crossan combines archaeological research with political and theological reflections to paint a picture of Jesus as directly confronting the imperial power of Rome with an alternative vision of what it means to seek and achieve peace in the name of God. I found the arguments extremely convincing and wholly appropriate to our own time which is, potentially at least, an age of three imperial empires - USA, Russia and China.

In the face of such powerful forces - political, economic and military - what can the humble Christian do? The first thing we must do - out of solidarity as well as a means to effect change - is to pray. Often underestimated by Christians in comfortable and 'peaceful' societies, prayer remains both the very least we can do, and sometimes the very best thing we can do. Prayer matters to those who face persecution, terror, war and fear. As in every war, it is the elderly, women and children who suffer first and most.

As to the Olympics I might watch some highlights; but my enthusiasm for sporting competition between nations has dissipated in the light of the painful reality of international politics. The Olympic movement is no longer indicative of what might be, but a smokescreen for what is.

Dave Ford

Economic Growth is not a virtue - economic justice is

The news today that UK home repossessions have risen by 48% (compared with the same 6 month period last year) is yet more dismal news about the economy. Yet these raw statistics hide many stories of personal tragedy and misery, disproportionally shared of course by those who are least economically secure or mobile. As always, the poor are hit first by economic woes. For most of us at the moment, the economic downturn might mean shopping in Aldi rather than Tesco - but that hardly counts as a tragedy. (And if you've never shopped in Aldi you should give it a try - their salmon is particularly good).

Every downturn or recession is accompanied by much analysis of what has gone wrong with the economy. But the fundamental questions are rarely asked. Talk of global changes in the availability of credit don't get to the heart of the problem but simply deal with the 'unpleasant ocassional side effects' of the economic system to which we all appear enslaved.

The thought of an economic system having a moral or even a spiritual dimension would probably have most city traders looking either bemused or quietly chuckling behind their Pimms. But in the same way that it is now widely recognised that the global political and physical environment has an interdependent dimension to it (look at the instant worries created across the world by what has happened in Georgia today), so, I suggest, does the economic system. And wherever there are relationships, corporate or personal, there are moral and spiritual questions to be faced.

The core spiritual question posed by the economy for me is this: if we accept that how we spend our money directly or indirectly affects other people, then surely the act of consumption is either an act that aids mutual sustainability or it is an act of economic exploitation? If it is the former, then consumption can be considered something that enhances our spiritual well-being; if it is the latter, then it is degrading, not simply to those who it affects, but to those who effect it - me or you.

It remains my belief, that mutually sustainable economic relationships (and economies) are incompatible with an economic policy that presumes that continuous economic growth is the only route to economic stability. For exploitation - of people, resources, the environment - is in-built to the logic of economic growth. If that doesn't sound right, consider how our economy in the UK might change if the real cost of manufacture and distribution was charged to the consumer. Small would not simply be beautiful, it would become essential. Profit only exists in the UK economy because none of us are paying the real cost of anything.

These are deeply spiritual issues for anyone who believes - as I do - that the world was created for our enjoyment and care, not for its exploitation. And that world includes us. If we are to have life, and to have it abundantly, as Jesus promises, then that 'we' must include everyone. If we want to be truly globally inclusive, then our economic exploitation of others must cease. Yes, that means a drop in 'living standards', but that might not be a bad thing, given the level of conflict and violence such living standards generate in our communities today.

Dave Ford

Giving in to trust

Lying on my back in a dentist's chair is not my preferred way to spend a Thursday morning. My mouth is full of metal fillings from the 1970s; not a good decade for British dentistry. As a result of that my mind remains full of memories of painful and noisy drills. Despite the wonderful treatment I receive from Tom, who must have the gentlest hands in the business, and Sharon, who takes care of my regular accumulation of plaque, this is not me at my most relaxed.

As someone who is used to being in control - particularly of my time but also more generally of my surroundings - this forced subjection to someone's else agenda - however professional and well meaning - makes me feel deeply uncomfortable and powerless. This is not life as I normally experience it.

Instead I have to trust Tom and Sharon, not simply to do a good job, but to ensure my safety and well-being. I can't be the only patient who's wondered what happens if the hands holding drill slip or a bout of sneezing suddenly engulfs the technician.

In the case of dentistry this issue of trust is made a great deal easier because I am not a dentist. If I had an inkling of skill in the area of teeth and gum manitenance I might, perhaps, feel like offering advice, or even have a go at doing the job myself. As it is I am relatively content to leave it to them.

This is not the case however in other areas of my life. There is little more debilitating than not being able to do something about a situation that deeply affects or concerns you, despite being skilled and competent to contribute. The experience of passively waiting upon others to make a decision is very difficult to accept.

Scripture's answer to this is found in Proverbs 3: "Trust the Lord with all your heart and be not wise in your own sight."

I find this kind of trust particularly difficult. After all, God gave us our minds and abilities to put them to good use, not to leave on a shelf. Yet I also recognise that there is a bigger picture that I cannot see or understand. My wisdom, such as it is, is very limited and partial.

So my options are limited. I can choose to be endlessly frustrated and fed up, or try to trust the God I believe exists at the very heart of everything, including me.

Experience tells me that the answer will lie in the 'doing'. As I reach out to God, and succumb in trust, God will rush to envelop me in love. Totally dependent on God I may be; alone I am not.

A very long time ago Julian of Norwich wrote this: "He did not say, 'You shall not be tempest-tossed, you shall not be work-weary, you shall not be discomforted'. But he said, 'You shall not be overcome'. God wants us to heed these words so that we shall always be strong in trust, both in sorrow and in joy." (Enfolded in Love, DLT, 1980, p39).

W H Vanstone wrote wonderfully about this tension between trust and waiting in his marvellous book "The Stature of Waiting". Well worth a read if you currently face a time of being 'forced to be passive'.

Dave Ford

Summerstorm

No, this isn't a comment on yesterday's awful weather, but a reflection on a DVD I watched last night with my 19yr old daughter, Becky. Summerstorm is a wonderful tale of friendship and emerging sexuality. It centres around two friends - Tobi and Achim - both of whom are keen members of their local rowing club. Their friendship breaks down during a summer camp as Tobi slowly accepts that he is gay and that his affection is not going to be returned by Achim. For me one of the most touching moments in the film is when Tobi's girlfriend accepts that Tobi is gay and that her love for him cannot be returned. She graciously lets him go.

Two evenings earlier Liz and I watched another film - For the Bible tells me so. This tells the story of five US families and how they reacted as their sons or daughters came out. This film was given away free at the Lambeth Conference and I regret only picking up a single copy. The stories are heart wrenching and I sat in tears towards the end as I watched parents in their retirement campaigning for gay rights and being arrested in defence of their son.

One of the five families in the film is Gene Robinson's, the Bishop of New Hampshire. Gene was married and has two daughters and the film tells this aspect of his story very honestly. When Gene finally accepted his sexuality, instead of perceiving their marriage as a failure, they came to see in their divorce an honouring of one another, as each was freed to find a new partner who could affirm them as the person they really are. For Gene and his wife, Boo, their divorce was the positive culmination of their marriage vows.

Both films illustrate the graciousness and cost of true love. Letting go can sometimes be the very best way we can love one another.

That is what the incarnation is all about of course. And every time we help someone else become who they were born to be, we repeat that story of incarnational love in our own lives. As Jesus showed, the cost can be high.

Seven Passages - dramatic reply to the 'terror texts'

One of the joys of Lambeth last week was the performance of 'Seven Passages' by a group of young people from Michigan. This new play weaved the true life experiences of a variety of gay Christians (not the actors own stories) with exegisis of the seven frequently cited 'anti-gay' terror texts from scripture.

As the play progressed the audience gained vivid insights into the painful struggles experienced by gay Christians accompanied by clear and accurate explanations as to the meaning of the seven scripture passages most often used to exclude gay Christians from church communities. Deeply moving but also at times very funny, the play deserves to be widely appreciated, which will be much helped by the forthcoming DVD.

Half way through the play around half a dozen people walked out, something that the cast had never experienced before. Talking with them afterwards, it was clear that seeing people walk away was difficult. Yet I wonder if it wasn't also a good sign.

One of the challenges with plays like 'Seven Passages' is that the audience is often composed of people very much on board with the issues. To have people walk out half way through is a vivid reminder that there remains a long way to go before LGBT people will be fully accepted in the Christian community.

Leaving aside the possibility that the folks who left had a bus to catch, is there anything positive to be gleaned from people appearing to disagree so strongly with a play's message that they feel the need to be elsewhere?

I feel there might be and it has something to do with the nature of conflict.

When disagreements come out in the open, truth is revealed. The English habit of seeking to always be polite isn't sufficient to transform the world and usher in the Kingdom of God. At times we need to face up to our differences in order to find a way forward together.

Conflict is, by its very nature revelatory, it reveals truth. Wherever there is conflict there is a point of potential transformation.

The motives for those folks walking out on the play may never be known. But if an internal conflict was stirred up by the experience, then a movement of the Spirit might at work. We will never know how that might work itself out. But that is both the joy and the challenge of contributing to others' spiritual journeys. It's all about planting seeds so others have something to water.

Dave Ford

Welcome to Perfect Freedom

Welcome to Perfect Freedom a new blog for exploring spiritual, theological and political issues from a liberal/radical Anglican perspective.

I can't promise never to talk about the Lambeth Conference or the current state of the Anglican Communion, but the thinking behind this blog is broader than today's headlines. 'News' rarely has the opportunity to acknowledge the genuine complexity of the simplest of issues. And there are plenty of excellent liberal commentators out there already making up for journalism's shortcomings.

So this blog is trying to be different rather than simply adding another voice to the liberal cause.

The name 'Perfect Freedom' is derived, of course, from the Collect for Peace in Morning Prayer (Book of Common Prayer):

O God, who art the author of peace and lover of concord,
in knowledge of whom standeth our eternal life,
whose service is perfect freedom;
defend us thy humble servants in all assaults of our enemies;
that we, surely trusting in thy defence,
may not fear the power of any adversaries;
through the might of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Now I much prefer the Common Worship version to BCP but I do recognise this prayer's origins and more imoprtantly the beautiful truth that lies in the paradox that freedom is achieved through service. Only by giving of ourselves do we become ourselves. Jesus became Christ on the cross.

Perfect Freedom is also the title of what I still consider as the best statement of the liberal Christian tradition. Written by Brian Mountford it is short, concise, persuasive and totally engaging. Worth buying for your church library if it's not already there and while you're about it, buy another for your vicar.

Finally, Perfect Freedom is also the title of next year's conference of the Modern Churchpeople's Union. Now please don't be put off by the title. The MCU name may be an historical anachronism but it's a great group of thinking Anglicans (which reminds me of another web site).

To be a thinking Anglican is, of course, to ask questions; but not initially of others, always first of ourselves.

That is perhaps where a lot of the problems start. Not the practice of asking questions, but the reality that we lack the self-confidence to ask the deepest questions of ourselves first, and instead launch ourselves at others in an attempt to find security in our own prejduices and others' fears.

Lambeth was right to encourage people of difference to meet and talk together. Shame though that the circle wasn't as large as it could have been. Which raises some interesting questions about the nature of conflict.

Dave Ford